Kate on Women's Fears

Hi Bob,

Hope all's well with you.

Your last note got me thinking about so many things.

Yes, men face many fears about sex as they age. But women face many fears, too.

Let's be blunt. I'm in my fifties, not my twenties. Things don't work the way they used to. Many women my age are menopausal, and that wreaks havoc on our bodies. Our sex drives are out of whack. Vaginal dryness is a very real issue. Our bodies don't look as great as they used to. A lot of men our age are interested in a thirty year-old, and they don't hesitate to let you know that. 

All of this combined can just leave a woman of a certain age feeling pretty unattractive and, well, unfuckable.

There is a positive side to sex at our age, too. I think it can be a more loving and joyful connection. We are generally more comfortable with our bodies and ourselves. Yes, our days of headboard banging sex are behind us, but it can be replaced with a genuine connection, especially in the confines of a committed, monogamous relationship. We don't have to worry about pregnancy, and we can focus more on our partners and ourselves. I think it's possible to have the most satisfying sex of our lives during these years.

Dan has decided he's not interested in taking ED drugs. He wants to try to deal with this naturally. 

I am relieved. I don't want to have sex with him. And I have a feeling he really doesn't want to have sex with me. How sad is that?

Tell me more about your kids. Do you like being a dad? 

Hugs,

Kate